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The act of infuriating the support by not putting in any effort, yet scoring a vital goal.




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27 April 2019
Solihull Moors
Vanarama National League 
Drew 1-1

     On This Day

No fixtures played on 21/5



Dagenham & Redbridge

Daggers Dictionary
by Hardy on 14/11/2001

Coming to Victoria Road? Here's a handy guide on the local dialect. DiggerDagger would welcome any contribution to this section from the locals.

Daggers Dictionary

Every club has its own special language used by the supporters as an insiders code. Dagenham & Redbridge are no different. Should you find yourself at Victoria Road and have no idea what the hell the locals are on about, here is a handy list of terms and their meanings:

Click on a letter below to jump to entries starting with that letter.



"Alan" - a clippings and cuttings service for all relevant newspaper articles. (from "Auntie Merge")

"Aldershot" - Either (1) mouthing off incessantly about how you are going to win everything in sight and going on to achieve absolutely nothing, or (2) the equivalent of "Zoo" (below).

"Alma chizzit" - A request to find the cost of an item in the Dagger Shop.

"Amant" - Quantity; sum total ("Thez a yuge amant of mud in 'Endon").

"Arlesey" - The moment in a season when you realise the next important game is not until August.

"Ashley" - Giving blood in the service of Dagenham & Redbridge FC.

"Assband" - Unable to leave the house because of illness, disability etc.

"Awss" - A four legged animal, on which money is won, or more likely lost ("That awss ya tipped cost me a fiver t'day").

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"Barking" - The inability to grasp simple logic.

"Barnes" - Either (1) an overweight opposing forward that somehow always seems to manage to score against your team, or (2) amusing banter with the home fans from a player you'd love to hate but somehow have to grudgingly admire (the opposite of an "Elding").

"Barnet" - The ability to make your concessions policy needlessly complex and unfathomable and in the process piss off most visiting fans.

"Bastock" - The ability to polarise opinion.

"BBC Essex" - An organisation with a limited grasp on geography, that only takes an interest when the Daggers are doing well or in the FA Cup rounds proper.

"Billericay" - A nursing home for old or invalid ex Daggers. (from Simon Williams, Billericay Town fan)

"Bovril" - A foul smelling brown liquid beloved of northern types apparently sold at near lethal strength by the tea bars at Victoria Road.

"Braithwaite" - The seeming inability to score despite being in the right place at the right time.

"Branna" - More brown than on a previous occasion ("Ere, Trace, ya look branna today, ave you been on sunbed?")

"Brennan" - Wearing a hairstyle that hasn't been fashionable for the last 20 years.

"Broom" - A severe injury gained in an obscure or unbelievable manner.

"Brother of" - The compulsory description for Paul Terry for anyone involved in the media.

"Broughton" - A player who arrives with a bang, then fades over a series of matches until he moves on without a whimper.

"Bruce" - A hairstyle involving having it highlighted and spiked in the middle.

"Burton" - Being known only with a prefix (as in Nigel Clough's Burton Albion™.)

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"Canvey" - Cancelling something at the last minute without consultation with the other parties involved, thereby completely pissing them off.

"Carthium Event Horizon" - An entirely predictable event when expenditure massively exceeds income.

"Charlery" - The act of infuriating the support by not putting in any effort, yet scoring a vital goal.

"Charlton" - The act of almost getting egg on your face but ducking at the last second, then pretending you weren't worried at all the whole time.

"Cheat" - Anyone or anything to do with Boston United FC.

"CMS" - Someone or something known almost entirely only by initials.

"Cobb" - The act of pretending to make an attempt at a header by jumping several seconds too early.

"Cold Dog" - The Dagger version of a hot dog, where the bun is warmer than the sausage. (from Len Britton)

"Cort a panda" - A rather large hamburger.

"Crawley" - A group of people that moan continually how few you took to their ground then turn up with a quarter the number at your place.

"Crutches" - The preferred method of transport of Daggers defenders. (from Len Britton)

"Cup Fever" - That special feeling when they drop the balls into the velvet bag and your team are in there somewhere (see also "FA Cup")..

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"Dagger Time" - The time between 88 minutes and the end of injury time when the Daggers are particularly likely to score in cup matches.

"Dahn" - The opposite of "up"

"Dan in the maff" - Unhappy ("Garry looked a bit dan in the maff after the Hereford game.").

"Destiny" - Something that is alleged to be "taking over" at Stevenage, but has yet to materialise.

"Dickie" - The overpowering feeling that your teams physio is going to have a heart attack himself before he reaches an injured player.

"Doncaster" - The act of continually falling over for little or no reason. (from Len Britton)

"Douglas" - Ensuring your hairband matches the rest of your outfit.

"Drummer" - One who plays a trumpet (from Paul from Barking)

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"Elding" - An opposing player that can wind up home fans in the nastiest of manners (the opposite of a "Barnes").

"England" - An outside event that reduces the attendance at other matches.

"Essex Senior Cup" - Two blokes in the away end. (from Len Britton)

"Evans" - Either (1) something given to you in a brown paper bag to keep you quiet, or (2) something distasteful emanating from the country of Scotland.

"Exeter" - Either (1) the ability to get the League rules unreasonably altered mid-season (see also "Stevenage"), or (2) borrowing a tenner and paying back a pound.

"Eye-eels" - Women's shoes.

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"FA" - An organisation that is supposed to look after football but actually just makes noises about it.

"FA Cup" - A faint buzzing tension in the head and chest caused by excitement and anticipation (see also "Cup Fever").

"Fanta" - A drink sold at Victoria Road with a luminous orange colour and strange taste, bearing no relationship to the soft drink of the same name sold elsewhere in the UK.

"Farnborough" - Much the same as an Aldershot only on a grander scale and in worse surroundings.

"From Barking" - The act of being several sandwiches short of a picnic. (As in "Don't worry about him, he's from Barking")

"Furrock" - The location of Lakeside Shopping Centre, although unfortunately, no football.

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"Garrij" - A building where a car is kept or repaired (Trace: "Oi, Darren, I fink the motah needs ta go in the garrij cos it aint working proper").

"Garry" - The ability to use the expression "You know" at least fifteen times in any given sentence, you know?

"Gloves" - An item of clothing which, when worn by opposition forwards, always signifies it's going to be a good day for the Daggers.

"GLS" - A completely pointless competition that no-one taking part in actually cares a jot about winning (see also "LDV").

"Golden Goal" - Either (1) a small piece of paper bought by many near the turnstiles resulting in Alan Mendham getting £50, or (2) having your heart ripped out through your throat, then having 500 drunk Yorkshiremen taking the piss about it.

"Gone Ball" - A Tim Cole clearance, which usually has to be recovered from the car park in Orlake records.(from Alan Mendham)

"Gothard" - Someone who is great until they leave the club but is a shadow of their former self on their return.

"Gravesend" - A dreadful choice of colours in your away kit.

"Griffiths" - The footballing equivalent of that moment when policemen start looking young to you.

"Grim" - Anywhere north of Watford. (from Len Britton)

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"Hamburger" - A piece of charcoal in a bun. (from Len Britton)

"Hampton" - Nirvana. (from Len Britton)

"Harper" - The act of not practicing what you preach.

"Heffer" - Either (1) the act of getting sent off for no discernable reason at all, the opposite of a "Vickers", or (2) a player that you don't notice at all until they aren't playing. 

"Hendon" - An area of ground, usually submerged under water, which is totally unsuitable for the playing of football.

"Hereford" - An event that is best forgotten.

"Hill" - Getting going when the going gets tough, only somehow taking a shedload of money with you.

"Hornchurch" - The act of practising self-destruction in the most spectacular style.

"Howard" - The act of getting sent-off for having a bad aim. (from Johnson)

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"Ibeefa" - Balaeric holiday island.

"Ives" - The act of pretending to know what you are supposed to be doing. (See also Woolmer, Yerby)

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"Janney" - Either (1) similar to a "Terry" only even less likely to score (see definition of a "Terry" below), or (2) the local name for the FA Cup, Second Round.

"John" - A goal scored with an unlikely and improbable part of the body.

"Jones" - Either (1) to have abuse hurled at you for an entire match despite being one of the hardest working players on the pitch, or (2) to take a wicked corner that has the defence in a complete panic.

"Junior" - A mazy run to the corner flag with your team drawing but on top with five minutes left in the game.

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"Kettering" - Dominating a match for 90 minutes and yet being unable to score.

"Kimble" - The uncanny ability to appear to run faster than you actually are able to.

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"Lafarjik" - Lacking in energy ("Looks like Lenny Piper's a bit lafarjik today.").

"LDV" - A competition that you only take seriously if you are drawn at home against local opposition (see also "GLS").

"Leberl" - A player rated highly by a coach or manager for reasons entirely lost on the fans.

"Leigh" - Having an angry bald man shout at you for an hour.

"Lenny" - The act of being rated higher than your brother for no apparent reason.

"Lid" - An essential part of a bottled drink bought at Victoria Road which is taken away meaning that you spill it in your pocket or over your shoes.

"Loan" - Here today, gone tomorrow.

"Looser" - The signal that the person writing a post in a forum or message board has no basic grasp of English.

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"Marie Celeste" - An area of the ground with either sparse attendance or no visible attendance at all, i.e. the Barking College Family Stand.

"Mackail-Smith" - A player who excites the crowd into wanting to sing his name, but try as they may, they can't get it to scan in any recognised chant or song.

"McDougald" - A footballer who only springs into life when the cameras are rolling or it is an FA Cup game.

"Meechan" - The act of proving what you can do if given a chance.

"Moore" - The act of overexciting the supporters into thinking you are the next Ronaldo.

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"Non League Paper" - Either (1) something that really ought to be great but somehow fails to work right time after time, or (2) having the worst kind of journalistic standards possible.

"Nuneaton" - A ludicrously bright colour.

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"Oi oi!" - Traditional greeting. Often heard from the doorway of pubs or during banging dance tunes at clubs.

"Opara" - The act of diving when it's easier to shoot.

"Orient" - A game where the team that looks to have it in the bag goes on to lose (see D&R 4 Orient 5 and D&R 3 Orient 2).

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"Paipa" - The Sun, The Mirror or The Sunday Sport.

"Plucky" - A term attached to any non-league team who takes on a club from the Football League or Premiership (see also "Valiant").

"Policeman" - Being paid to drink tea and watch football at Victoria Road (see also "Steward").

"Pondfield" - An area of grassed ground with an improbably large amount of dog mess on it.

"Pre-season" - Either (1) watching a bunch of players you don't recognise run round in last seasons kit, or (2) the period between relegation and reality setting in where fans of ex-Football League clubs can be found stating "we are going to piss this tin pot league" at every opportunity.

"Purfleet" - The act of being scared of a lesser opponent.

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"Quality" - Term applied to any new signing who transpires to be as much use as a chocolate teapot.

"Quiet" - The sound emanating from previously annoying Hornchurch supporters following the Carthium Event Horizon.

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"Reband" - The period of recovery and emotional turmoil after rejection by a lover ("I couldn't elp it, I wuz on the reband from Craig"), or a preferred method of scoring a goal ("Mooro sniffed up the reband off the keeper.")

"Robbo" - Either, (1) a goalkick or clearance that finds touch in your own half of the field, or, (2) an unbelievably late and unlikely equaliser (as in "Steve Heffer got a Robbo in the Orient game.")

"Rogers" - A sharp elbow to the throat.

"Rooney" - A player that is taken off with 20 minutes to go in every game, regardless of the match situation. (from Len Britton)

"Rush" - The act of promising much and delivering nothing.

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"Saffend" - Essex coastal resort boasting the longest pleasure pier in the world and the place where the characters from Eastenders go on holiday, although unfortunately, no football.

"Scott" - The term for a footballer moved on before being given a chance to show what they could do.

"Segregation" - Three blokes and a dog in the away end. (from Len Britton)

"Sieve" - A place that looks at if it ought to be dry and warm but is actually damp and cold.

"Smith" - A disastrous back pass (reference Mark at Crawley Town FA Cup 2003 or Peter for Canvey 2005).

"Steino" - A 1-0 win where you had one chance in the whole game and took it.

"Stevenage" - Either (1) stealing another clubs manager and team in a panic to avoid relegation, or (2) attempting to expand a division because you look like getting relegated (see also "Exeter").

"Steward" - Either (1) getting paid to do something, or wearing a luminous jacket, without actually achieving much, (2) standing around watching a game drinking free tea (see also "Policeman"), or (3) the ability to completely disappear at the precise moment you are needed.

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"Tan" - The city of London, the big smoke.

"Taylor" - A serious injury incurred at just the wrong moment for the team.

"Ted" - To refuse to make a substitution and to persist with non-scoring big lump despite having free scoring legend (see "John" above) on the bench. (from Alan Mendham)

"Terry" - The act of putting the ball into orbit when it seems practically impossible not to score (see also "Janney").

"Timmy" - A heavy tackle or challenge, usually early in the game, making the point to the opposing player that its going to be "one of those days".

"Trumpet" - Instrument played by a drummer, apparently (from Paul from Barking)

"Trumpet Boy" - Writing something and then realising on reading it back that it makes no sense at all.

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"Umbrella" - The closest to a covered terrace available at an away FA Cup Qualifying Round match

"Undergrahnd" - Method of mass transport

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"Valiant" - The act of losing to higher opposition despite putting in huge effort (see also "plucky").

"Vickers" - The act of not getting sent off despite kicking the cr4p out of your opponent for the whole game, the opposite of a "Heffer".

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"Webbats" - Querying the location, something or someone is. ("Webbats is Garry going to play Brucey this week?").

"Westley" - Something that is full of hot air and yet still manages to get up your nose.

"Woolmer" - Either (1) a total lack of understanding of the laws of football (see also Ives, Yerby), or (2) the equivalent of a "Cheat" (see above) in the Hereford area of Wales.

"Wordsworth" - A player with an excellent reputation at other clubs who singularly fails to live up to it when he joins you and yet returns to form as soon as he leaves.

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"X-rated" - Any tackle carried out on your favourite player

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"Yerby" - The epitome of someone unfit to referee a football match (see also Ives, Woolmer). The Yerby caused so much fun at Conference level it can now be seen regularly fouling up line calls in Premiership matches for a much larger audience.

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"Zoo" - Suitable home for football supporters choosing to wear Burberry or Stone Island (see also "Aldershot" above).

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Got any more?

DiggerDagger is looking for more local sayings and terms. If you have one, please use the "Contact Us" link and let us know.

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